3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
