There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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