I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
