I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So many bounce houses so little time
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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