i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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