One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
