That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
