Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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