apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
4 words: hood of his car
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize