Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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