Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
