do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
