if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
