Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
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