I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
