She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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