I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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