I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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