You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
don't judge my taste in strippers
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
