I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She bit a glass in half.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
