I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
