If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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