ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
