dude i'm inner monologue high
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
so much tequila, so little girl.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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