How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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