This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
