my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just want nice things and good sex
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
