I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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