I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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