my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
