I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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