why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
