dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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