we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
