Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
