i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
