I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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