Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
