I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
