so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
