a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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