OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
