ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
