There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
