hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
