I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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