I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
