i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
