i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
