turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
