you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
