there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
