I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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