Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
