they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
