Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My feet surprised me
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
