I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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