she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
that is very illegal...i love you.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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