I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
