Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
